I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
