i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
