How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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