I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
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