So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
