I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
i think im in europe. pls send help
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Randomize
