yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
i drank out of a bidet.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
