You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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