Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
