so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
apparently the secret to your success is patron
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
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