kristin has been a bad kristin
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
