dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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