Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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