fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize