there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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