haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Randomize
