We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
