so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
