3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize