In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
there is glitter all over my balls
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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