no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Who put my cat in the fridge?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
