Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
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