Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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