His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
