lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
