Rock
Scissors
Fuck
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize
