Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
