Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Randomize
