When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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