you guys were way drunker than both of me
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Randomize
