Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
