i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Randomize
