I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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