I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
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