then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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