why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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