THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
