Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
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