3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
