I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize