Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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