The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
