So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
