God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
