Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
