In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
