ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
