I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
