You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Just pee around me
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
