Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
