I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Never joke about your clitoris.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
