it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
