my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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