Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
