I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
