I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Dignity is for republicans.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize
