I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
