If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize
