fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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