just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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