i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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