your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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