I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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