Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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