If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
The best revenge is premature balding
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Randomize
