Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
