i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Can I color on your dick again?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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