So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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